


i am so a virgin

by lurKINGaroundd



Series: that 70's show au [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bonding, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Kissing, MJ Is A Little Shit, Peter is a Little Shit, Romance, That 70's Show AU no one needed, That's 70's show AU no one asked, everyone is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 17:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17207681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurKINGaroundd/pseuds/lurKINGaroundd
Summary: God, Michelle hated cops, but this time, she couldn’t even throw an angry speech their way, because well, they caught her red handed.And by that, she means having sex with Peter inside her car.That 70's Show AU that no one asked and no one needed, but I wrote it anyway.





	i am so a virgin

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, another update for this, it's been some time, right?
> 
> I strongly recommend you to read the whole series, so it can make sense, beginning here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16400438
> 
> I hope it's still cool.
> 
> Please, enjoy.

It had happened with Ned and Betty before, they just never expected for it to happen with them. Peter had a super enhanced sense, or as he liked to call it, his spidey sense. Also, Michelle always thought of herself as too smart and clever, she wouldn’t get herself in such a situation.

Well, they did.

When the police officers, pressing the Brants’ door bell, holding Peter and Michelle by their collars, as if they were little kittens, it happened.

God, she hated cops, but this time, Michelle couldn’t even throw an angry speech their way, because well, they caught her red handed. 

And by that, she means having sex with Peter inside her car.

A part of her wanted to kick Peter’s ass for not noticing there was someone around, and another part of her wanted to kick her own ass for also not noticing. So now there she was, with her head down, Peter by his side, and the judging eyes of her guardians. 

After a whole exhausting lecture, in their first opportunity, MJ and Peter ran to the basement. She could tell he was mortified for having to go through that, but she also knew that he was a bit relieved that his aunt wasn’t there with Betty’s parents, ready to scold him too.

That relief didn’t last long, because as soon as they arrived in the basement, they were met with the vision of May Parker sitting on that old couch. And even worse, Tony Stark was right beside her.

Peter was petrified. 

Getting busted by the cops was already embarrassment enough, and getting scolded by the Brants was no good either, but the combo of May Parker and Tony Stark could make it all worse.

Michelle almost fell bad for Peter. Almost. 

She would still stand by her indignation of him being too distracted by her bare breasts that he didn’t see the police coming. It was all because MJ was letting him get too confident, but also she couldn’t help but voicing, rather sinfully, as his hands, and other things, touched her.

Peter’s mouth as in agape.

And Tony Stark was the first to speak, as he very casually got up from the couch, and walked to their direction. “Turns out you’re a bit like me when I was your age. I’m surprised.” The billionaire, with a loose grin on his face, now sat on the washing machine placed behind the guilty couple. “But I never got caught you know.”

This time, May got up from her seat. “Tony!” She argued, not satisfied with his choice of words. “That’s not what we came here to say.”

It was Peter’s bad luck, really, that the moment Betty’s parents called May, Tony was at her apartment, doing his regular visit to let the boy’s aunt know what’s really going on with his superhero life. Of course, Stark wouldn’t lose the opportunity to embarrass Peter just a little bit more, since he knew that May as the kid’s guardian, would cover up the responsible parenting thing just fine.

“I’m sorry!” Was the only thing Peter managed to say eventually.

The truth is, he was indeed sorry. About getting caught. Not about what him and his girlfriend were doing, but he could hide that part, right?

Michelle was aware of how bad the situation looked for Peter, but she couldn’t help but feel nervous too. May was there, and that woman was an important part of her life now, the girl didn’t want her boyfriend’s aunt thinking that she was a bad partner for her nephew. 

MJ didn’t want to disappoint May, but who gives a shit about a genius billionaire knowing about her active sex life? She knows she doesn't.

Well, but Peter gives a shit, and Tony and May together to scold him about his last session of fooling around with MJ felt like slow painful death for him.

May released a big sigh, apparently calming herself down, and gestured for the kids to seat back with her on the couch. 

“Listen, you guys are using protection, right?”

Tony Stark laughed in the back.

Peter and Michelle held themselves to not groan, out of respect, or maybe out of choice, since they were caught in quite a compromising situation, so they shouldn’t be little shits about whatever May was trying to say.

“Yes, we are.” They answered in unison.

Once again, a sigh escaped May, but now a relieved one. Still, she continued, and MJ kind of knew Peter had gone through this sex talk before, even though this time it was worse, since May was holding against them something bad they did.

The whole conversation was torturous, and both Peter and Michelle wanted to hide themselves in a hole on the ground. Tony laughing in the background didn’t help either. It seemed like he was there with the whole purpose of embarrassing Peter, and MJ could appreciate that, if she wasn’t involved in the clownery that was making him laugh.

Even though the whole experience was horrible, Michelle was still grateful that they never treated her as the one who corrupted Peter to the dark side. Maybe she did corrupt him, just a bit. But MJ never forced him to do anything, and Tony and May were very aware of that, so their scolding was mainly focused on him.

“I’m not your mother, nor your guardian,” May finally said directly to Michelle. “So I don’t think I have the right to yell at you for what you two did but… you’re important to me too, I care about you, MJ. And I can get really angry when kids I care about are brought home by cops for doing things they shouldn’t be doing.”

Michelle could’ve argued, but she didn’t. Instead, she just bashfully nodded. “I’m sorry, May.”

Betty’s parents had yelled at her, and May had putted in words her disappointment, so Michelle thought that she would be fed up by now, but she wasn’t. She wasn’t even upset, because MJ realized; they really cared. Even with Tony giving a snarky comment here and there, they cared, and they were showing it by being angry at her for being a problematic teenager.

It wasn’t the same as when she used to live with her mother, and the woman didn’t even ask where Michelle had spent her last days out of the house.

In their own ways, the Brants, May and Tony were all trying to protect their kids, and MJ tried to bury her annoyance and embarrassment for the situation by thinking that these people got her back now. 

They got her back, the same as Peter, because even though they got yelled at and scolded for hours, he didn’t let go of her hand for a second, because they did that together, so they would face the consequences together.

 

“I told you, Jones,” Gwen said. “Skirt is the best option for car sex.”

“I know, I know.” Michelle rolled her eyes, and then repeated Gwen’s wise words with a tired voice, “Zip-zap, bim-bam, you’re done, you’re dressed, you’re back at the mall.”

“Right.” The blonde grinned at her.

Betty and Ned were being reminded of the same disaster that happened to them during an eventful night out in a car, so they didn’t tease much the busted couple.

“It’s not like we were planning it.” Peter argued. He was blushing, but now being able to hold a conversation.

“We never plan those things, they just happen.” Flash commented, as if he had some knowledge about life.

“Still, I can’t believe Tony Stark was here with May. That’s crazy.” Betty said.

Peter gave a mean stare to Ned, as if asking if he had told her. 

Well, Ned had let this one slip up. Tony was literally in Betty’s basement, but not even her parents were aware of that, so only Peter’s best friend could possibly let her know of that fact, since one of the first things he did after he was let out of the punishment talk from May was tell Ned everything that had happened.

And that made, once again, the gang bring up in discussion the weird proximity of Tony and Peter. If you think about it, the whole thing was definitely super weird, but Peter thanked all Gods that his friends’ brains were fried most of the time.

 

Michelle was grounded, but Peter wasn’t. She wasn’t going to whine about the Brants, but it would be perfect if they were a little bit like hippies, the way May was.

So, as Spider-Man, Peter sneaked her out of the house. 

As a joke, he even called her Rapunzel, refereeing himself as the great knight saving her from the tower, in their case, the old basement.

Swinging around the city, in mid-air, she still hit him with her elbow for that.

Something Peter wasn’t really expecting was that Michelle actually liked his persona as Spider-Man. He was really happy with that, because that meant he could impress her, and do all kinds of stupid superhero flirting he could fantasize.

For now, they were sticking with romantics getaways on top of New York’s buildings. It was a good escape from the gang, since they were starting to get a little too curious about the Stark thing.

“I got you a present.” Michelle finally handed him the wrapped object she had hiding inside a plastic bag she held.

It could be nice, but Peter’s senses were suspicious, it wasn’t even his birthday or anything.

“Thanks.” He said, still taken back by the action.

And Peter was right after all. It was a shirt, and it could be indeed a present if you look that way, but the problem was what was written on the shirt.

He scoffed. “I can’t believe you.”

“I saw that on a store one day and I immediately thought of you.” MJ had bought it days ago, and was waiting for a perfect opportunity to give it to him, she decided it was now.

 _I am **so** a virgin! _ Were the shirt’s words written in a deep black color.

“God, I hate you.” Peter told her, but a stupid smile still appeared on his face, as if he couldn’t really hold a reaction from the comedy of the situation.

Michelle laughed her ass off, of course.

It wasn’t even a man’s shirt. It was big enough so it would be able for Peter’s fit body to wear, but it definitely wasn’t a man’s shirt. Also, it wasn’t as if MJ was expecting him to wear it, it was just a stupid prank to break a bit of the ice of the whole situation they got themselves into.

Above all the lectures from the grownups, above all the curious’ eyes of their friends, Peter and MJ got along best when they were playing around with each other.

And Michelle knew that. She loved pranks, and she knew he loved it too.

They knew each other.

 

The next day, at school, Michelle’s jaw went to the floor. 

Peter Parker had the audacity of wearing the girl’s shirt she gave him in the school’s ground.

And he wore a casual jean jacket above it, so despite the funny phrase written right in front of it, and also the carelessness that he carried himself, as if he really wasn’t doing anything far from usual, it made him look really good.

So good, that MJ couldn’t keep her hands to herself. Moral of the story? They ended up making out in the janitor’s closet.

This time, they didn’t get caught.

**Author's Note:**

> (English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes.)
> 
> Suggestion for this came from hannrose! Thank you!
> 
> I'm sorry, it was little short, right? But I was in the mood for this I guess.
> 
> Here I go again asking you guys to leave me comments because it's really important to me!!!! Let me know what you think.
> 
> Also!! Send me suggestions to what you may want to see in this AU, go on my curiouscat on twitter @lurKINGaroundd or on tumblr @lurkingg-around (Not gonna promise anything, but, lol.)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!!!


End file.
